The Odyssey: A Stage Version Read online

  ODYSSEUS

  Not quite.

  CYCLOPS (Opening his eye)

  I like laughing. Make me laugh, little man.

  ODYSSEUS

  Make you laugh. All right. Know why I can cross my eyes?

  (He crosses his eyes.)

  CYCLOPS (Giggling)

  No, why?

  ODYSSEUS

  God gave us two eyes because we’re human.

  CYCLOPS

  I’m not.

  ODYSSEUS

  One is for laughter, the other one cries.

  CYCLOPS

  Do it. Show me. Ram, come here. Take a look at this.

  (ODYSSEUS makes a funny face. RAM comes forward.)

  RAM

  Very good, sir. Nobody I know can do it.

  (He resumes his position.)

  CYCLOPS

  I love Nobody.

  ODYSSEUS

  Same here. Nobody loves you.

  CYCLOPS

  Look! Why do you need two eyes? One does just as well.

  ODYSSEUS

  For balance. Proportion. Contrast. Mortals need two.

  CYCLOPS

  I’m a demi-god.

  ODYSSEUS

  Left, right. Good, bad. Heaven, hell.

  CYCLOPS

  I have deified myself. Son of Poseidon.

  ODYSSEUS

  I know your father, the sea. He doesn’t like me.

  CYCLOPS

  Why? I’ll talk to him.

  ODYSSEUS

  Gods! Who knows what side they’re on?

  CYCLOPS

  He’s rough-tempered most times, but he can act calmly.

  ODYSSEUS

  Put in a good word, then. I’m trying to get home.

  CYCLOPS

  Home. You’re home now.

  ODYSSEUS

  Well, this wasn’t quite my idea.

  (Silence.)

  CYCLOPS

  Not your idea? There’re no ideas in this kingdom.

  ODYSSEUS

  I’ve a wife, you see. Like my eyes. We make one pair.

  CYCLOPS

  Where’s that, my little friend? Tell me where you come from.

  ODYSSEUS

  A rock, too stony for horses. With swirling shores…

  CYCLOPS

  What flocks do you have? Goats, sheep? Is it a kingdom?

  ODYSSEUS

  Yes.

  CYCLOPS

  And are you its king?

  ODYSSEUS

  Yes. But it’s not like yours.

  CYCLOPS

  In what way?

  ODYSSEUS

  Its subjects don’t end up on skewers.

  CYCLOPS (Laughs)

  Like your men, you mean?

  ODYSSEUS

  Right.

  CYCLOPS

  How many’ve I eaten?

  ODYSSEUS

  Of my crew? Just two. I suppose, before them, scores.

  CYCLOPS

  They’re tenderized by tortures, the flesh is beaten.

  ODYSSEUS

  While your sheep bleat in fear of their devourer.

  CYCLOPS

  But I’m saving you for last.

  ODYSSEUS

  Well, that’s very kind.

  CYCLOPS

  Thank you.

  ODYSSEUS

  Two of my crew, and one philosopher.

  (The CYCLOPS picks his teeth.)

  CYCLOPS (Spits)

  Is this him?

  No more ideas. The last of his kind.

  (ODYSSEUS holds the skewer over the flame.)

  ODYSSEUS

  Look how this little iron lance glows at the tip!

  CYCLOPS

  Stick it in the meat.

  (ODYSSEUS drops the skewer.)

  ODYSSEUS

  Too hot.

  CYCLOPS

  Ram, get a clean one.

  (ODYSSEUS searches on his knees for the skewer, hiding it.)

  ODYSSEUS

  No, no, no, it’s all right, really. I’ll pick it up.

  CYCLOPS

  Ram, a clean skewer!

  ODYSSEUS (From under the table)

  No, really.

  CYCLOPS

  LEAVE IT ALONE!

  (RAM exits. ODYSSEUS, on his knees looking, gets near the door.)

  ODYSSEUS

  That’s the way I am, sorry. I hate losing things.

  CYCLOPS

  GET OFF YOUR KNEES!

  ODYSSEUS

  My men, my money. My way home.

  CYCLOPS

  Your life next.

  ODYSSEUS

  That I don’t mind. Just hate losing things.

  CYCLOPS (Searching, on his knees)

  I’ll help you look.

  ODYSSEUS

  That’s three eyes, fine. Where did it go?

  CYCLOPS

  It couldn’t have gone far. And Ram will be back soon.

  ODYSSEUS

  I give up. But I hate to. One thing you should know.

  CYCLOPS

  What’s that?

  ODYSSEUS

  The sky goes pitch black when there is no moon.

  (He crawls near the CYCLOPS, takes out the skewer, blinds him.

  Blackout. Sirens moaning.)

  CYCLOPS

  NOBODY HAS ESCAPED, NOBODY BLINDED ME!

  LOUDSPEAKER

  REPEAT, NO ONE HAS ESCAPED. KEEP LOOKING FOR HIM.

  NOBODY’S ESCAPED, NOBODY’S BLINDED THE EYE.

  CYCLOPS

  NOBODY, YOU HEAR ME? NOBODY IS HIS NAME!

  ODYSSEUS (Shouts back)

  SON OF POSEIDON! YOU OBSCENE OCTOPUS!

  YOU TON OF SQUID-SHIT, WITH YOUR EYE POURING BLACK INK!

  MY NAME IS NOT NOBODY! IT’S ODYSSEUS!

  AND LEARN, YOU BLOODY TYRANTS, THAT MEN CAN STILL THINK!

  (Sirens moan. The CYCLOPS picks up an oil drum and hurls it at the retreating ODYSSEUS, screaming.)

  SCENE X

  Circe’s island. A beach. Rich wild plantains. Some of the crew lolling. A WOMAN playing a drum. ODYSSEUS and EURYLOCHUS enter.

  FIRST SAILOR

  Circle the graves of our bodies, traveller. Pass.

  (ODYSSEUS crouches near a SAILOR.)

  ODYSSEUS

  Sailor, this sudden indifference, where’s it from?

  FIRST SAILOR

  That red flower nodding agreement with the grass.

  ODYSSEUS

  A sleeping sickness. They were felled by its perfume.

  EURYLOCHUS

  You went ashore for fresh water! Back to the ship!

  ODYSSEUS

  The island has drugged them. They’ve no will to go on.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Their heads hang like sunflowers.

  (He shakes a SAILOR.)

  FIRST SAILOR

  Tell the sea to sleep.

  SECOND SAILOR

  Here the lion takes a whole afternoon to yawn.

  THIRD SAILOR

  Join us, Captain. Watching you stand makes us tired.

  EURYLOCHUS

  What have you eaten? What changed you? What is this place?

  THIRD SAILOR

  This place? An island that has all you desired.

  ODYSSEUS

  It’s the falls.

  EURYLOCHUS

  What?

  ODYSSEUS

  That waterfall, thundering peace.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Could its veils bind their limbs like this?

  ODYSSEUS

  And mine.

  (EURYLOCHUS shoves ODYSSEUS.)

  EURYLOCHUS

  Move! Move!

  ODYSSEUS

  Although my longing for home is as strong as theirs.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Captain, keep moving.

  (ODYSSEUS slides down.)

  ODYSSEUS

  So great … this burden called love.

  (EURYLOCHUS lifts ODYSSEUS.)

  EURYLOCHUS

  Up! Up!

  FIRST S
AILOR

  Yield like a lily to the weight of years.

  SECOND SAILOR

  All forms of love are meaningless except self-love.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Who did this?

  THE WOMAN

  Circe.

  FIRST SAILOR

  Don’t breathe, Captain. What’s the rush?

  SECOND SAILOR

  The grave is coming towards us. No need to move.

  THIRD SAILOR

  The grave we all come from was hidden by a bush.

  FIRST SAILOR

  Then Doubt went into labour and produced Reason.

  EURYLOCHUS

  What is in this weed that makes fools philosophers?

  ODYSSEUS

  My head’s clearing now. Like a mist burnt by the sun.

  EURYLOCHUS

  All right, men. Back to the ship. It’s waiting for us.

  FIRST SAILOR

  Flowers, like fire.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Try, sailor. How do you feel?

  FIRST SAILOR

  In a different archipelago. But the same.

  SECOND SAILOR

  They worship the elements. They kneel like you kneel.

  THIRD SAILOR

  Each god has his earthen root.

  SECOND SAILOR

  Just a different name.

  FIRST SAILOR

  Their gods quarrel like ours and hurl meteors.

  SECOND SAILOR

  They sacrifice oxen. Drink their blood from clay bowls.

  FIRST SAILOR

  They spin, possessed, around delirious altars.

  THIRD SAILOR

  Then wound the earth and descend to the place of souls.

  (Music. REVELLERS enter, with animal masks, singing.)

  CHORUS (Sings)

  Aeaea

  Aeaea

  Aeaea

  Ai-ya-yi

  My emerald island

  Between blue sea, and blue sky

  The island of Calypso

  Aeaea

  Ai-ee-o

  Bacchanal

  And carnival

  Is the place to go

  O Lord have mercy

  Before I dead

  Let me lie down with Miss Circe

  Stroking me head

  Stroking me bald head

  That have only one eye

  When she stops

  See me Cyclops

  Falling down dead

  O Lord have mercy

  On all me sins, is true

  But when Circe spell fell on me

  I turn beast too.

  (CIRCE appears on a palanquin, carried by pig-headed BEARERS.)

  Circe have mercy

  Make me turn beast too.

  SCENE XI

  Red decor. CIRCE in her brothel, with SAILORS in the form of pig-men, and GIRLS. BILLY BLUE, ODYSSEUS and EURYLOCHUS enter.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Madame, we’d like our crew back.

  ODYSSEUS

  With your permission.

  CIRCE

  Ever seen this before?

  ODYSSEUS

  Not quite.

  CIRCE

  You like watching?

  ODYSSEUS

  Not my men.

  CIRCE

  You see men? Sorry. Semen. I see swine.

  (She laughs.)

  EURYLOCHUS

  This powerful weed metamorphosizes men.

  CIRCE

  The inner animal erupts through their features.

  ODYSSEUS

  Her black locks pouring like a golden lion’s mane.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Spines bristle their backs, they have little obscene eyes.

  CIRCE

  But what they become is for what their natures yearned.

  (She strolls among the creatures, poking them with her wand. ODYSSEUS and EURYLOCHUS walk through the crowd. Grunts, screeches, off.)

  EURYLOCHUS

  Her music’s pounding with the odours of rutting.

  ODYSSEUS

  Perfumes won’t dispel it.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Her rooms are grunting pens.

  ODYSSEUS

  Still, give it to our enchantress, she knows one thing.

  EURYLOCHUS

  What?

  ODYSSEUS

  That brothels aren’t just sailors’ dreams, but all men’s.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Not mine.

  ODYSSEUS

  All.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Don’t yield, sir, you have a wife and son.

  ODYSSEUS

  At the back of all men’s minds is a rented room.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Her hatred can be dispelled. She thinks men are swine.

  ODYSSEUS

  We create our own features. Not her. We change form.

  (ATHENA appears, offers a flower, blocks ODYSSEUS.)

  ATHENA

  Wait. Chew this milky flower. They call it moly.

  ODYSSEUS

  What is its power?

  ATHENA

  Chew it, you’re out of her range.

  ODYSSEUS

  Where did you find it? It’s streaked. The sap looks milky.

  ATHENA

  In a speckled grove. Gods know it. Chew it, or change.

  ODYSSEUS (To EURYLOCHUS)

  Have you eaten it?

  EURYLOCHUS

  Not yet.

  ODYSSEUS

  Will it work?

  EURYLOCHUS

  Yes, yes.

  ODYSSEUS

  Look, it may be great to be a pig for a change.

  EURYLOCHUS

  With grunts for a language, a screw prick, bristling ears?

  ODYSSEUS (Chews)

  Cheers.

  EURYLOCHUS

  Here comes our hostess with her fatal hors d’oeuvres.

  (CIRCE approaches.)

  CIRCE

  Have you had one of these yet? They’re lovely with wine.

  ODYSSEUS

  No, they look lovely. Your own little endeavours?

  CIRCE

  My own little hands.

  (Claps her hands.)

  NOW, BACK TO YOUR STIES, YOU SWINE!

  (She herds the pig-men off, then takes ODYSSEUS’ hand.)

  ODYSSEUS

  Where’re we going, madame, and what about my friend?

  CIRCE

  Let him find his own diversions. Rent his own room.

  ODYSSEUS (To EURYLOCHUS)

  This is for the crew’s sake.

  CIRCE

  We won’t be hard to find.

  EURYLOCHUS

  But where?

  CIRCE

  Where, except down a woman’s path? Perfume.

  (ODYSSEUS and CIRCE exit, two GIRLS accost EURYLOCHUS.)

  FIRST GIRL

  What’s up, Mr Gentleman? Look a little lost.

  SECOND GIRL

  How you feelin’, sailor? What’s this in your pocket?

  EURYLOCHUS

  I don’t care to be accosted, thank you.

  FIRST GIRL

  No cost.

  (EURYLOCHUS searches his clothes.)

  SECOND GIRL

  What are you feeling for in your pocket?

  EURYLOCHUS

  It’s gone.

  SECOND GIRL

  You lost it?

  EURYLOCHUS

  A flower.

  SECOND GIRL

  Let me pick it.

  (She fondles EURYLOCHUS, while the FIRST GIRL forces a drink down his throat. They step back. EURYLOCHUS changes into a pig. They laugh, chase, catch him, one rides him, the other puts a garland around his neck and drags him off squealing.)

  SCENE XII

  Interior. CIRCE prepares Odysseus’ drink, slipping in a powder. He chews the moly-flower. BILLY BLUE enters.

  BILLY BLUE (Sings)

  She give him shining bush to drink, she give him man-you-must

  She fix him a liqueur of gooseberry wine
<
br />   But his flag still at half mast

  She pour in some sweet-oil and crush it with thyme

  Coriander, basil and cerasee

  But the flower of the moly slowly defy she

  Power of matrimony

  No, no, doux-doux

  I have a message for you

  As sweet as you are

  And you sweeter than guava jam

  I have a wife at home

  And she begging me come

  And I saving it all for she.

  (ODYSSEUS sips the potion. CIRCE is undressing slowly.)

  I have a wife at home

  And she begging me come

  And I saving it all for she.

  She slip off she shoulder strap, she raise up she hem

  She untangle she jewellery

  All the time she keeping her big black eyes on him

  Circe circling him for some revelry

  With lavender, rosewater and cerasee

  But the moly slowly, slowly strengthening him

  He thinking as he drinking

  No, no, doux-doux

  I have a message for you

  As fresh as you are

  And you sweeter than sugar-plum

  I have a wife at home

  And she begging me come

  So I saving it all for she.

  CIRCE

  Become this man to whom everything has happened.

  ODYSSEUS

  What I want is so simple. To reach my own bed.

  CIRCE

  You’ll learn more than the others. The swine I keep penned.

  ODYSSEUS

  What would I learn from this?

  CIRCE

  From a goddess? Godhead.

  ODYSSEUS

  But taking what form if not a man’s any more?

  CIRCE

  My nostrils flared the minute I saw you enter.

  ODYSSEUS

  Why?

  CIRCE

  Your head lifted. A stallion circling his mare.

  ODYSSEUS

  With your season on the wind?

  CIRCE

  Circling. Thudding her.

  ODYSSEUS

  This stallion’s married.

  (CIRCE strokes his thigh.)

  CIRCE

  What did this?

  ODYSSEUS

  Boar. Hunting scar.

  CIRCE

  Hunt mine. We’re kindred spirits.

  ODYSSEUS

  Yes?

  CIRCE

  You know we are.

  ODYSSEUS

  Not kindred bodies. This pig-scarred adventurer.

  CIRCE

  Reason has never restrained you, Odysseus.

  (ATHENA enters, disguised as a maid.)

  ODYSSEUS

  We have company.

  CIRCE

  She’s young. You’d like to try her?

  ODYSSEUS

  As well? Too exhausting.

  CIRCE

  Go about your business!

  (ATHENA exits.)

  ODYSSEUS

  Madame, I’m sure this could be a night well spent.

  CIRCE

  You’re in your house. A house men’s desires built.

  ODYSSEUS

  Paradoxes in brothels. Why’s this different?

  CIRCE

  Deceit without sadness.

  ODYSSEUS

  Only swine feel no guilt.

  CIRCE

  When heaven flares from the charge of our joined bodies.