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The Odyssey: A Stage Version Page 11


  ODYSSEUS

  Be careful of the cold attraction of iron.

  TELEMACHUS

  Why?

  (ODYSSEUS slaps, then embraces him.)

  ODYSSEUS

  Because men make weapons they intend to use.

  EURYCLEIA

  God, I have lived to see father welded to son!

  ODYSSEUS

  Eurycleia, listen! Say you hired this steward.

  EURYCLEIA

  Yes, sir, but suppose in there him get recognized?

  ODYSSEUS

  Not if you abuse him and he lowers his head.

  TELEMACHUS

  Is this what you meant by being ‘Odysseusized’?

  (They laugh. Exit.)

  SCENE VI

  The palace. ODYSSEUS as the beggar sits on a throne, with begging bowl and oar, draped in a fishing net, SUITORS surrounding him.

  EURYMACHUS

  He says he’s a king. We’d like to know who you are.

  CTESIPPUS

  Under those rags there’s an awful authority.

  POLYBUS

  This bowl is his globe. This knotted oar his sceptre.

  AMPHINOMUS

  Hail, sceptred spectre and mud-tattered fantasy!

  ODYSSEUS

  This body is a ribbed ship that never went down.

  CTESIPPUS

  Listen to this beggar boasting! It’s very good.

  ODYSSEUS

  Was never pinned by the trident of Poseidon.

  AMPHINOMUS

  If he outwitted a god he must be a god.

  EURYMACHUS

  Let’s see if he’s a god. Slip a spear in his side!

  CTESIPPUS

  Spike his brow with pine needles. Make thorns his crown!

  POLYBUS

  Just nail KING O’ BEGGARS over his bleeding head!

  AMPHINOMUS

  There’s wet holes in his muddy face. You poor ruin!

  EURYMACHUS

  Probe his ribs with this fork. See if he winces!

  (The room darkens.)

  ODYSSEUS

  From that louring sky, from that undecided rain.

  CTESIPPUS

  It speaks!

  ODYSSEUS

  A storm will darken you, shining princes.

  EURYMACHUS

  Great king!

  ODYSSEUS

  What I endure will be suffered again.

  (A swallow passes.)

  EURYMACHUS

  What was that noise?

  POLYBUS

  Nothing. A swallow.

  ODYSSEUS

  Say your prayers.

  CTESIPPUS

  Why?

  ODYSSEUS

  It fans the forge whose anvil hammers lightning.

  POLYBUS

  Oh, then, next time we hear swallows what we’ll say is:

  CTESIPPUS

  It’s the old cloud-hammerer, meaning you, sad king!

  ODYSSEUS

  It whitens the oaks with fear, its fork was buried.

  AMPHINOMUS

  Tremble! Poseidon rises with his three-pronged staff!

  POLYBUS

  His hair hangs like a squid. Scallops cling to his beard.

  ODYSSEUS

  Your tombs will tumble like surf in its aftermath.

  (ANTINOUS enters.)

  ANTINOUS

  Who’s this, what’s going on, what’s this jeering about?

  EURYMACHUS

  This is a beggar who believes he’s Poseidon.

  CTESIPPUS

  Or some other god.

  ANTINOUS

  There’re no gods. We’ve thrown them out.

  AMPHINOMUS

  But he tells good stories. Monsters with sixteen eyes.

  POLYBUS

  Old women with breasts like sacks singing like angels.

  EURYMACHUS

  A bag of wind from the old windbag.

  POLYBUS

  Old sailor’s lies.

  CTESIPPUS

  Oh, and listen to this, fishes with breasts, like girls.

  ODYSSEUS

  I have found no rest, sir, since Troy was defeated.

  ANTINOUS

  What a pity, since you’ll find no rest here, either.

  ODYSSEUS

  In a man’s house every monster is repeated.

  ANTINOUS

  We’re not finished.

  ODYSSEUS

  I know, I prefer those out there.

  ANTINOUS

  Why?

  ODYSSEUS

  I was at Troy.

  ANTINOUS

  Were you? They were all at Troy.

  EURYMACHUS

  Right! Win a war and everybody was in it.

  ANTINOUS

  And what did you do in the war, grandad?

  ODYSSEUS

  It’s true.

  CTESIPPUS

  This old dog has scraps of pride. Please, don’t offend it.

  ANTINOUS

  Tell me, you scab-crusted mongrel, how do you feel?

  ODYSSEUS

  Like a lion limping down lion-coloured hills.

  ANTINOUS

  He compares himself to the king of beasts? This fool?

  ODYSSEUS

  Hobbling the labyrinth of familiar halls.

  ANTINOUS

  Man of many riddles, what’re you babbling now?

  ODYSSEUS

  He shakes his mane, like tears. There was so much to save.

  (ANTINOUS kicks him.)

  ANTINOUS

  Dog!

  ODYSSEUS

  His eyes wince shut. Each insult is an arrow.

  ANTINOUS

  Drag this dog to the kitchen and teach it to serve.

  (SUITORS begin to lead ODYSSEUS out. ODYSSEUS stops, turns.)

  ODYSSEUS

  Whyn’t you search for your weapons, in case you’re besieged?

  EURYMACHUS

  Who’s going to besiege us?

  ODYSSEUS

  Your enemies.

  ANTINOUS

  Who’re they?

  (TELEMACHUS enters as a steward.)

  ODYSSEUS

  An old swineherd. A boy. That swallow. All of these.

  EURYMACHUS

  Antinous! The weapons. They’ve been taken away!

  ANTINOUS

  Who moved the swords and lances that were on this rack?

  TELEMACHUS

  Me, sir. They were losing lustre from kitchen smoke.

  ANTINOUS

  Who appointed you armourer? Run, bring them back!

  TELEMACHUS

  Sir …

  ANTINOUS

  You heard what I said.

  (He slaps TELEMACHUS, kicks him.)

  ODYSSEUS (Laughing)

  Good. Give him one more smack.

  (A loud rumbling noise, echoing.)

  EURYMACHUS

  What was the sound? What is that reverberation?

  AMPHINOMUS

  Like a bull in a pasture bellowing in heat.

  EURYMACHUS

  No. That great door groaning from dividing iron.

  (PENELOPE enters, carrying a bow, with EUMAEUS and EURYCLEIA.)

  With a bow, curved like a bull’s horns, she strides with hate.

  PENELOPE

  You know how sailors set chocks under a ribbed keel?

  EUMAEUS

  Before it is launched. A succession of Xs?

  (He arranges the axes.)

  ANTINOUS

  What’re you setting?

  PENELOPE

  The final test of your skill.

  ANTINOUS

  Which is?

  PENELOPE

  To send an arrow through these twelve axes.

  (Hubbub.)

  ANTINOUS

  The one who shoots through these axes, what’s his reward?

  PENELOPE

  My widowed hand.

  ANTINOUS

  Marriage? So you’re keeping your word?

  PENELOPE

&nbs
p; When my husband was a young pine he could do it.

  ANTINOUS

  So can I, you’ll see. My soul will fly from this wood.

  EURYMACHUS

  I’m going first.

  PENELOPE

  Yes, go first and cancel your debt.

  (EURYMACHUS tries to string the bow, groans, curses, fails.)

  EURYMACHUS

  I don’t know what happened. There’s something very weird.

  ODYSSEUS

  Don’t you have a soul, Antinous? Or are you in doubt?

  ANTINOUS

  I’m finishing this chop. Let him have the next go.

  (ANTINOUS waits. ODYSSEUS steps forward and takes the bow, he pretends it’s hard to string. EURYCLEIA shoves TELEMACHUS, hard.)

  EURYCLEIA

  Help him oil it, lazy pig!

  (TELEMACHUS helps ODYSSEUS oil the wood.)

  TELEMACHUS

  Can you bend the bow?

  ODYSSEUS

  These wrists grew hard as a pine-tree from pulling oars.

  EURYCLEIA (Slapping TELEMACHUS)

  BOY!

  TELEMACHUS

  It’s as wide as ox-horns, can you do it now?

  ODYSSEUS

  Unless these branches cramp into claws, like Nestor’s.

  TELEMACHUS

  If I urged the wood’s spirit, what should I beg for?

  ODYSSEUS

  Her pliant accommodation, in spring and hum.

  ANTINOUS

  What’s this ritual? Stay away from that beggar!

  ODYSSEUS

  Athena! Make their throats trees; where arrows find home!

  TELEMACHUS

  Bend, bend!

  ODYSSEUS

  Come, supple ash! Take this bit in your teeth!

  (He strings the bow.)

  TELEMACHUS

  It’s hooked, the string is taut as a poet’s lyre.

  (He plucks the bow-string.)

  ODYSSEUS

  Well, let’s hope its song brings a hundred throats to grief.

  AMPHINOMUS

  He’s strung it!

  ODYSSEUS (To TELEMACHUS)

  Step back!

  AMPHINOMUS

  Not bad for the old fellow!

  (ODYSSEUS shoots the arrow through the twelve axes.)

  PENELOPE

  This beggar has won. He will inherit this house.

  EUMAEUS

  Eurycleia, this isn’t safe. Take her now. Please!

  PENELOPE

  But my vow.

  EUMAEUS

  Was made to princes, not to beggars.

  (EURYCLEIA exits with PENELOPE.)

  ODYSSEUS

  THE HORN GATE’S OPEN! AN EAGLE IS KILLING YOUR GEESE!

  (ANTINOUS advances and points.)

  ANTINOUS

  The bow.

  ODYSSEUS

  Would you like your soul to fly from this wood?

  CTESIPPUS

  Now aim that bow steadily, you dolt! Be careful.

  (ODYSSEUS hits ANTINOUS.)

  EURYMACHUS

  You blind fool.

  ODYSSEUS

  It was an accident.

  EURYMACHUS

  In his throat?

  ANTINOUS

  Dislodge his swallow’s beak from my throat. O my soul!

  (He chokes, dies. BILLY BLUE enters.)

  BILLY BLUE

  I saw his soul whirr through the ribs of his body.

  TELEMACHUS

  Like through the twelve axes!

  BILLY BLUE

  The soul is visible!

  ODYSSEUS

  Antinous, it was better to marry than die.

  BILLY BLUE

  Where’re the others?

  TELEMACHUS

  They’re like shocked statues. Watching him still.

  ODYSSEUS

  Dogs, didn’t you keep baying I’d never get home?

  POLYBUS

  O many-wiled model of human survival!

  EURYMACHUS

  Odysseus! It’s Odysseus! Welcome, sir! Welcome!

  (He crawls on his knees.)

  CTESIPPUS

  We beg. On our knees.

  ODYSSEUS

  Don’t you think begging is vile?

  (He kills EURYMACHUS. The other SUITORS run. EUMAEUS gives ODYSSEUS the shield.)

  EUMAEUS

  Here, you cunning tortoise! You forgot your buckler.

  ODYSSEUS

  This turtle took ten years, Ajax, but it’s ashore.

  EUMAEUS

  To hide your head when lances fly. Well, three of us.

  TELEMACHUS

  If we had Troy’s trim captain here, a hundred to four.

  (Noise of the SUITORS.)

  EUMAEUS

  A hundred murmurs, like wind lifting a forest.

  ODYSSEUS

  Like a green wave gathering, assembling its charge.

  TELEMACHUS

  Where’s that goddess or captain now?

  (Screeching of birds.)

  EUMAEUS

  There! In that nest!

  TELEMACHUS

  The screech of the swallow-nation, Athena’s rage.

  ODYSSEUS (To the birds)

  Swoop from that roof-tree, friends! Snatch the eggs of their eyes!

  (Shadows of swallows crossing.)

  EUMAEUS

  The breaker’s pluming, it’s going to burst through that door.

  ODYSSEUS

  If its force swirls us apart, bless you, Eumaeus!

  EUMAEUS

  They sound like that white river when we raced the boar.

  (The hundred SUITORS charge. The swallows attack their eyes. ODYSSEUS with the bow, EUMAEUS with buckler and sword, TELEMACHUS with his lance kill the hundred SUITORS. EURYCLEIA enters.)

  EUMAEUS

  A black howl of triumph for the slain is custom.

  BILLY BLUE

  To lift their souls cloud-ward, like rooks beating black sails.

  EUMAEUS

  Wheel like a cyclone, a sybil spun by a storm!

  EURYCLEIA

  No, no!

  BILLY BLUE

  Cry! Woman, your breath will unfurl their souls.

  (Rising wind, darkness. EURYCLEIA cowls herself, whirls, a long howl.)

  TELEMACHUS

  How odd is this excess of silence! Not a breath.

  ODYSSEUS

  When I look at them I hear armour and chaos.

  TELEMACHUS

  Quiet as a hundred brides whose suitor is death.

  (War noises increasing. The SUITORS begin to stir.)

  ODYSSEUS

  Look! Nestor, Thersites, my silent Greek chorus.

  TELEMACHUS

  But you can talk to me, Father. Father, you’re home.

  ODYSSEUS

  Then who are those soundless shadows crossing my wall?

  TELEMACHUS

  What is he staring at? Eumaeus, help him!

  ODYSSEUS

  Look! I will not fight the Trojans! My mind’s not well.

  EUMAEUS

  This is a madness that I’ve seen on him before.

  TELEMACHUS

  When?

  EUMAEUS

  When you were a baby. It’s back with him now.

  TELEMACHUS

  What happened?

  EUMAEUS

  A test. They laid you on a furrow.

  TELEMACHUS

  In a field?

  EUMAEUS

  He stopped. You were inches from his plough.

  ODYSSEUS

  Look! (Points at the SUITORS.)

  Troy’s mulch. Troy’s rain! Wounds. Festering diseases!

  BILLY BLUE

  Troy’s glory.

  ODYSSEUS

  I’ll kill you for telling boys that lie!

  (He leaps towards BILLY BLUE, grabs him.)

  EUMAEUS

  He’s a homeless, wandering voice, Odysseus.

  (Pause.)

  Kill him and you stain the fountain of poetry
.

  (The SUITORS rise, as WARRIORS.)

  BILLY BLUE

  His mind’s dislodged from its masonry. From Troy’s wall.

  ODYSSEUS

  Crouched shadows in starlight. Foaled from a wooden horse.

  TELEMACHUS

  Father …

  ODYSSEUS

  Over dead stones, I heard Hecuba wail.

  EUMAEUS

  Wait. This is the after-shock that is war’s remorse.

  (ODYSSEUS stumbles over ANTINOUS’ body.)

  ODYSSEUS

  Now why has the tide dragged this log into my house?

  TELEMACHUS

  This is Antinous! Not a log. Rather, it was.

  ODYSSEUS

  The spitting image of Ajax. The same hooked nose.

  EUMAEUS

  This is not Ajax.

  ODYSSEUS

  Not him? Where’s Odysseus?

  TELEMACHUS

  Here.

  ODYSSEUS

  Look at him stride; arrogant, floating Ajax!

  (ANTINOUS / AJAX moves away, turns, exits.)

  TELEMACHUS

  Sir!

  ODYSSEUS

  Cut me, in hell. Couldn’t face Achilles’ shield.

  TELEMACHUS

  The shield is home now. The lances ranged on their racks.

  ODYSSEUS

  Look how he stalks through the stench of the battlefield!

  EUMAEUS

  These images rise from the shield. They’re not his own.

  ODYSSEUS

  Since when did logs stand, then walk leagues over water?

  EUMAEUS

  He’s wrestling the god for his mind.

  ODYSSEUS (Shouting)

  POSEIDON!

  (He hurls TELEMACHUS off.)

  TELEMACHUS

  The sea can’t come in! Stop it! Stop it, please, Father!

  (PENELOPE enters.)

  PENELOPE

  You had to wade this deep in blood?

  ODYSSEUS

  To reach your shore.

  PENELOPE

  This cunning beggar is the smartest of suitors.

  ODYSSEUS

  To claim his house.

  PENELOPE

  What house? You mean this abattoir?

  ODYSSEUS

  To kill your swine, Circe.

  PENELOPE

  And make their mistress yours?

  ODYSSEUS

  WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO? IT’S YOU I KILLED FOR!

  PENELOPE

  IT’S FOR THIS I KEPT MY THIGHS CROSSED FOR TWENTY YEARS?

  ODYSSEUS

  Call out to Antinous! See if he answers.

  PENELOPE

  He has gone to his own dark bed.

  ODYSSEUS

  Alone at least.

  PENELOPE

  Hack your way through mankind! Dismember its branches.

  ODYSSEUS

  With you for a path, I would cut down a forest.

  (He shows her a charm.)

  Look, here is that brooch your husband kept through the war.

  PENELOPE

  You could have plucked it from his body, scavenger.

  ODYSSEUS

  The surf never loosened it. Look, let your eyes answer.

  PENELOPE

  This is not Troy. I’m not Menelaus’ whore.

  ODYSSEUS

  Love, see these stained hands? I’ll wash them with my own tears.

  PENELOPE